Friday, June 29, 2012

KCA Comedy

        " No, no Alex that's a wall!" Chloe yelled as I zoomed down the virtual slopes of wii ski. "I knew that" I joked as I quit the game, "what should we do now?" It was the annual KCA anniversary and the K (KC), the C (Chloe), and me the A couldn't wait to write what we came here for, our super silly, slightly stupid, homemade commercial. Racing up the stairs and into chloe's room, ideas filled our heads. A portal to mars that's really just a toilet paper tube, an automatic portrait painter that's really just a camera, or even a magic box that takes your bread and gives you a piece of toast in return that's just a toaster. The awkward silence loomed, hot and sticky, in the air until KC's "aha" moment voice cut through it like a sharp knife. "The body packge" she exclaimed as Chloe and i looked at her like she had just declared she was a marshmallow and was going off to live in Stop and Shop. "We can dress up those body pillows with big sweatshirts and wigs and stuff" we all nodded in agreeement and set to work on the commercial.
         About halfway through the commercial writing I closed my eyes in thought. At school, I don't have many stand out friends or could do many sports. I was always the slightly mysterious follower to what anyone else was doing and never had many of my own ideas introduced into groups. But here was my oasis of randomness and expression with my loyal friends surrounding me. This was truly my home away from home. My eyes opened and my brain got back into action again spitballing ideas. "Are you alright?" chirped Chloe. "wonderful" I reply smiling and putting my oversized sweatshirt on a body pillow.
          Finally we were done with rehersals and everyone was fitted with their costumes. It was time for the real thing. KC held the camera towards the scene of the commercial and began to record.
2011

Summer Slumber

“Good night,” The dreaded words of summer. “Don’t let the bedbugs bite!”  How can moms say that so INNOCENTLY?  It’s not like I control the evil insects.  Sleeping in the summertime is like telling me not to sleep at all.  As soon as my parents leave me in my too hot or too cold bed, the battle begins.
     My mortal enemy is really the unscreened windows.  Why they are unscreened, is still a mystery even to me.  I know what you’re thinking: How could windows be the enemy?  They don’t do anything but keep cool air from circulating through the room, therefore creating a hot sticky mess.  Well you see, that’s the problem!  If you leave the windows open, the lack of screen causes swarms of bugs to attack from every angle, while crickets screech their endless tune leaving your ears to throb. 
     Then you would probably think: Wow, if I just close the window, wouldn’t it all be over? NO!! If you close the window, the hot, sticky, sweaty, disgusting air looms in the room like a heated blanket. This is the point where I turn to my fan for advice… and some cool air.  The only problem is that the fan is a rather talkative fellow and once again an annoying buzz rings through my brain. 
     Sounds, heat, windows, it’s all so confusing! Oh, why must sleeping in the summer be so ANNOYING!?! Finally, after consulting myself like the President deciding on vetoing a law, I shut the windows, turned off my fan and trudged into my parents’ room with a sleepy groan. I approach the comfy room just to turn right back around again.  I guess I forgot that my dad snores!  Perhaps my room is better after all!
2011

Hurricane Boat Driving

The blades of the summertime wind sliced the air into icy chunks that hit my face in unexpected pieces and wiggled their way down my bathing suit.  Massive rain drops splatter the Plexiglas window of the boat, blurring the view of the mammoth waves ahead.  We were sure that the hurricane had arrived at the worst time possible, our fishing trip.
            A fishing hook whizzed passed my brother’s ear barely nicking the skin. He produced a choked up squeak and sat down on the once white boat seat, not daring to loosen his grip on the side of the boat in fear of falling overboard.
            It was a good sized motor boat. At the bow, there was a well hidden storage space for the anchor which was just big enough to sit on. Behind it was the fish blood stained floor from previous fishing trips. The back of the seat that my brother was sitting was also where the steering wheal was located. It sat proudly atop a hollow pedestal with an opening that only I was small enough to fit into. Now the boat, anchor and all, was at mercy of the waves.
            “Why did the hurricane have to happen now” My brother complained, his voice bouncing from the teetering of the boat. Disapproving of my brother’s actions, I rolled my eyes through the scratched up film of my orange goggles. I, unlike my brother, was completely prepared for the frightful storm. My six inch armor of rain protection only failed my once when the massive wind ripped the hat off my head and dangled it teasingly above the water. In an effort to retrieve them, I left my cloths soaked down to my bathing suit from yet another unexpected wave.
            The hurricane was a surprise to all of us. With the soothing heat of the summer sun tickling our faces and the ocean as calm as a young lamb, it would have normally been a sure sign of good fishing weather, but today, mother nature threw us a fast one.  
            CLUNK! The GPS fell and hit the ground from the shock of a wave.
            “I give up!” my brother whimpered, “I want to go home!” My mom, seeming slightly relieved, signaled to my dad to turn the boat around. When we arrived back at the harbor, my dad held out his hand to let me out.
            “No,” I replied, “boating weather is boating weather.” With that, he started up the loud engine and we headed back out to the choppy ocean, where the noise could be drowned by the crashing of the water.
            For such a large ocean, it was rather empty. The loneliness never lasted long though, for if you thought about it too much, you were destined to get a mouthful of salty sea.
            The farther we got out, the foggier and more electric smelling the air became. The fifteen ft. waves dwarfed the boat, showering it with fishy smelling water.
            On one particular bump, a fishing pole was ripped from my hands and thrown into the open ocean. “Dad!” I yelled lazily, “Dad a fishing pole went overboard.” I was simply expecting him to stop the engine and get out the net, but NO! Before I knew what was going on, my dad was yelling at me to steer the boat around an upcoming rock. “No Dad, don’t. It’s too dangerous!” I didn’t have time to refuse, for when I turned around, my dad was hanging over the side of the boat, grasping for the pole.
            This is all my fault, I thought, Why couldn’t I have just ignored it? What was he thinking anyway, I’m only eight years old, I don’t know how to drive a boat?!?! Wait a second… I have to drive a boat! I had never driven a boat before but I had watched it plenty of times.
            I turned the wheel with all of my might and just barely avoided the harmful sea boulder. My tight grip made my hands sting like little needles poking into my palm. When my dad emerged from the green abyss, he leaned down and kissed my forehead being the only skin visible on my body. “You were great,” he remarked as he took the wheel off of my hands.
            My dad patted me on the back several times after that. Shrugging like it was nothing; I knew inside, that I, a clumsy eight year old, had saved the boat.
            After a long day of no fish and salty skin, we got back home to be immediately showered with questions. Being too tired to answer any of them, we slipped into pajamas and went to bed. “You’re a hero!” he whispered, stroking my forehead as I slipped into a deep slumber. 
2012